It Was You, You Made The Difference
by JessicaRae237
Summary: Clare seems like she has everything put together. She has her routines, and just goes through the motions. Her life has changed drastically in the last year, but she doesn't let it affect her. She is a stone; emotionless, hiding behind a mask. That is until a new boy breaks down her protective walls and she allows herself to feel. Everything hits her at once. Can she handle it?
1. Guarded

**So this is my first attempt at fan fiction. I've always been a decent writer, but just got interested in writing stories and scripts. This story will be fairly lengthy, at least 10 chapters. Let me know what you guys think.**

_**Late October**_

The crisp autumn leaves fell to the ground in a swift swirling motion. It was October; late October, and Clare tried her best to walk faster to get out of the brisk chill that was washing over her heavily clothed body. Not fast enough however, seeing as she was already shivering. She was always cold. No matter the day, month, or season. Just always cold.

As she walked quicker, she let her mind wander. She had so much to do. She had to finish 3 articles for the school paper, a project for her Family Studies course, then she had her ongoing independent study for English, not to mention the large task of coming up with unique page ideas for this year's yearbook. How did she have so much to do when school had just started a month ago?

She had always been this way though; always taking on more than she could handle. She was stubborn, and determined. A bad combination for a smart girl like Clare. These qualities that she strongly possessed meant that she pushed herself for excellence. It was very difficult for her to accept anything less.

She always had a million things on the go; taking advanced courses - only in Grade 11, she was already taking college level courses. Added onto the stress from her academics was her involvement in many extracurricular activities; newspaper, yearbook, drama, and school council. She was a busy girl, but in her mind, it was the only way.

As Clare approached her house, she saw that bright red truck sitting in the driveway; mocking her. Her parents had divorced a little less than a year ago, and her mother had already remarried. The shock of the divorce had severely rattled Clare, but God forbid she let anybody see that. No, Clare did not want anybody to perceive her as weak. She had to be strong. She had to push herself. She had to succeed in life. She would not let her emotions get the best of her; so she bottled them up, and never let anyone see her strong facade falter.

As she entered her home, she saw her step dad, Glen sitting on the couch with his seventeen year old son, Jake. She smelt the familiar scent of her mother's famous roast chicken coming from the kitchen.

"Hey guys." Clare stated flatly.

It's not that she didn't like Glen, or Jake for that matter. At this point she actually felt rather indifferent. She had no feelings towards them, at least she wouldn't allow herself to feel anything. This is how things were now. Like it or not. There was no point dwelling on things that were not going to change.

Her parents used to be happy; then they started to fight and got a divorce. Her mother was at the grocery store a few months after the divorce was finalized, when she bumped into Glen Martin, an old family friend, whom she hadn't seen or spoken to in over 10 years. One thing led to another and they were married within 6 months.

Before she could even process anything Clare had a new stepfather and stepbrother. This was a fact that could not be changed. She had accepted it and moved on.

"Hey Clare. How was school?" Glen asked, seemingly distracted by some large guy tackling another guy on TV.

"Fine. Where's my Mom?" Clare asked the two distracted boys.

"I think she's upstairs..." Jake responded absentmindedly.

As Clare climbed the stairs, a familiar memory came to her mind of when her and Darcy were kids they would have to sit on these same stairs for at least half and hour on Christmas morning taking pictures before they could continue downstairs and open their presents.

Clare smiled for a quick second before quickly pushing the memory from her mind. Darcy. Yet another thing that she would not let herself dwell on. Darcy left. She wasn't here. She hadn't been home in 2 years. She left for Kenya, and wasn't coming back. That was it.

Clare approached her mother's bedroom door and softly knocked before entering.

"Mom?" Clare called.

Clare's mother emerged from her attached bathroom in a bathrobe.

"Hi, honey. When did you get home? " Her mother asked sincerely.

"Oh just a few minutes ago, when's dinner?"

"Well the roast needs about another hour or so, probably around 5:30 or 6 ish." Her mother responded while running a brush through her damp hair.

"Okay, I'll be in my room." Clare responded while quietly closing her mother's door and heading down the short hallway and into her own bedroom.

As she dropped her bag beside her desk, she allowed herself to continue to her bed where she sank down and closed her eyes for a few moments; destressing.

Clare Edward's life was complicated and stressful. She knew it. But she wouldn't allow herself to feel it. Or anything at all. All that did was distract her.


	2. Momentary Thing

The next morning, as Clare climbed the few steps that led to Degrassi and walked the familiar path to her locker, she was distracted; making to-do lists in her mind for the day. She wasn't paying attention as to where she was walking, seeing as she'd walked that path multiple times a day for the past month. As she was adding yet another task to the already long list, she painfully collided with another body.

"OH!" Both bodies yelled; startled, as they fell to the floor.

As the two tried to right themselves and collect their scattered belongings, they both finally looked at each other, looking to the cause of the disruption's in their mornings.

Clare looked up to find a pair of emerald eyes piercing into her baby blues. Who was this? Clare was involved in many things at Degrassi, but never had she seen this boy. She would have remembered _those_ eyes.

_ Dammit Clare! _She thought to herself. _You're staring!_ _Pull yourself together!_ Clare stood up quickly, and before this stranger had the chance to speak, she explained;

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay? I wasn't paying attention. I should have looked-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. No permanent damage. I'm new here, I was just looking at my schedule and didn't look where I was going, so no worries. We can just blame gravity for the bruises." The dark stranger interrupted charmingly.

Clare chuckled, "Okay, you're sure you're alright though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm pretty tough, a cement floor can't scare me." He said as his eyes met her's for a second time.

Clare was instantly lost in those eyes again. What was happening to her? She'd known this boy for 2 minutes, one of which was spent awkwardly trying to recover from an abrupt encounter with the floor. She moved her hand to her uniform skirt and smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles.

"Umm... well, I should get going. I'll, uh, see you around." Clare finally said after a brief awkward silence. The boy nodded and she started to move past him in the direction of her locker when he gently grabbed her arm.

As she slowly spun around, meeting his emerald eyes once again, he spoke quietly.

"Hey, umm... you wouldn't happen to know where room 207 is, would you?" He said this almost as if he were embarrassed, which was odd to Clare considering how confident he seemed just a few seconds ago.

As quickly as she got lost in her own thoughts, she pulled herself back out. _Room 207. That's what he asked. Answer him Clare! He's going to think you're brain dead!_

"Room 207? Advanced Grade 12 English?" Clare asked the boy.

"Yeah... that's what this course code means. I think." The boy responded, looking down to his schedule while bringing a little of his previous charm with him.

"Oh, well I have that this period too. Just follow me." Clare said, rather confidently, given her previous inner freak out.

Clare led the boy to her locker, put her book bag away and grabbed her purple binder and began to search for a pen from the top shelf of her locker. The boy stood there, leaning with his back against the next locker, patiently waiting for her to gather her things. Clare peaked out of the corner of her eye at him as she was trying to reach for her pen.

The boy was very interesting in appearance. Not excessively tall, or short, average height. He only appeared to be a few inches taller than Clare's 5'4 height. He had a mess of dark hair that just brushed past his eyebrows, slightly hooding his deep emerald eyes. He wore the usual Degrassi uniform, khaki pants and a blue polo shirt. Blue. Hmmm... he was a grade ahead of her. Clare, who was a junior herself was fitted in a red polo. Although, where she had thrown a navy blazer over her own red polo, he wore his with what looked like a dark suit jacket without it's sleeves and a black tie.

That was intriguing to Clare. At first glance, he seemed rather dark and unapproachable, but after only a few moments of awkward apologies a few minutes ago, she held a different opinion of him. Yes, he dressed darkly, but his personality suggested otherwise. He was witty and charming. And those _eyes_... my goodness. _CLARE! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FIND A FLIPPING PEN! He's going to notice you peering at him! STOP IT!_

Clare was constantly at war with her thoughts. Always telling herself to stop letting her emotions and impulses take the lead. So she stopped analyzing the boy's appearance in that moment, grabbed her pen, and led him to Room 207.


	3. Undressing The Words

As Ms. Dawes went through the attendance sheet in Advanced Grade 12 English, Clare sat patiently waiting for her favourite class to actually begin.

"Clare Edwards?" Ms. Dawes called.

"Here." Clare responded immediately.

Ms. Dawes continued down the list while Clare looked out the window to the right of her desk. She loved watching the leaves fall. Autumn was her favourite season. The colours, the smells, everything. Clare was lost in a world of orange, red and green when she heard a familiar voice fill her ears.

"Here." The boy who she had collided with earlier this morning said.

"Nice to meet you Eli. How are you liking Degrassi so far?" Ms. Dawes questioned.

"From what I've seen," he started and looked over to me, "I think I'm going to like it here." He finished and smiled shyly.

"Well that's very good to hear, Mr. Goldsworthy. Degrassi is a great school!" Ms. Dawes responded and continued on down her list.

_ Eli. Eli Goldsworthy._ That was his name. _Eli. _The boy with the captivating green eyes, who had left her mind swirling only a short while ago, his name was Eli. She thought to herself and decided that she liked his name.

xxxxxx

_ Clare Edwards._ That was the name of the girl who literally took my breath away this morning.

It was my first morning at a new school. Degrassi Community School. My family had just moved here, to Toronto. I was nervous about starting a new school in my senior year of high school, and I was really pissed off about having to leave Ajax.

I loved my old city. My old home. Although I was pissed, I understood the move; my family, and especially me, have suffered through a lot in the last 2 years. It just got to be too much. I…. we, we couldn't go anywhere without being reminded of that tragic event. Everything served as a reminder of what we all lost. It was too much. So we took the initiative and left.

I wasn't expecting to meet any new friends for a few weeks. I'm not the type of guy to randomly walk up to someone and introduce myself. I'm not overly shy, I just don't have a high tolerance for people. I find most people to be fake. Always wearing a mask, hiding behind a façade. I just didn't understand that. I was who I was. I didn't have much to hide. The few things I kept to myself were so that I didn't burden other's with my problems.

I was a different kid though. Most kids didn't have my problems, actually, no kid I knew had my problems. I wasn't hiding though, I was protecting everyone else; sparing them.

This is why it took me by such surprise when I collided with this girl. She was beautiful, and had these baby blue eyes that reminded me of the ocean. She was so apologetic, in a confident way. I didn't even think that I was making a joke, but when she laughed at my crack about blaming gravity for the bruises, I realized I was comfortable around her after only spending a minute with her.

I don't really joke around with people. I'm more standoffish. I guarantee, if I had collided with anybody else it would have been a quick muttered "sorry" and I would have been off in another direction; but with this girl it was different.

She captivated me. She made me act outside of myself; and I'd only known her a minute! She was so effortlessly confident, and it left me wanting to know more about her. That was why when she went to leave I had to stall her. When I grabbed her arm, I panicked, I didn't know what to say to her now that I had her attention.

I muttered the first thing that came to mind. I asked her for directions. _Yeah, cause that's how you get a girl, ask her where your class is_. I felt so ridiculously childish and stupid. I had one chance and I blew it. I could have asked her name! That at least would be something, but no.

Although, maybe it wasn't so bad after all, because turns out she had the same class. Who would have guessed it? When I followed her to her locker so she could get her books I could see her peaking out from underneath those long dark eyelashes. I let her stare. I actually quite liked the sly glances. It showed me she was intrigued by me.

This girl though, she was just so beautiful. She had medium length, light brown, curly hair. The curls looked natural, not fake like every other girl who seemed to be following a trend. She wore a navy jacket over her red polo. Mr. Simpson had explained the uniforms to me earlier; Grade 9's wore yellow, Grade 10's wore purple, Grade 11's wore red, and Grade 12's wore blue. So this girl was in grade 11, yet she was in Advanced Grade 12 English. This meant she was smart. That's good, cause dumb girls really annoyed me. I liked a girl who could hold a conversation, one who challenged my ideas.

As she led me into the classroom, I took a seat far enough way to make it look like I wasn't attached to her now that she spoke to me, but not far enough away to say I didn't appreciate her help. As the teacher, Ms. Dawes as I quickly learned, took the attendance, I listened intently, hoping to learn her name.

"Clare Edwards?"

"Here." I heard the familiar confident voice respond.

I looked over to her as she returned to staring out the window to the right. I watched her as she watched the autumn leaves fall to the ground. She seemed unfazed by the bustling of the restless students in the classroom, focused on the outside world.

As Ms. Dawes called my name, I responded and answered the few questions she asked me.

Ms. Dawes was right. Degrassi was a great school. At least, I knew it would be, as long as I got to know Clare Edwards.


End file.
